Making all kinds of messes

Archive for the month “September, 2012”

Noodling – not the Okie kind

For years now, I’ve had the desire to do something where I worked for myself. The problem is, and has always been, what will I do?

I am transitioning. I’m in a new position at a new place, completely unlike anywhere I’ve ever worked before (at a church! I work at a church!!!), and newly married.  The hours are spectacular, the people are nice enough, and I don’t take the work home with me.  And yet.

Part of it is my personality type – I think I’m an ENFP now, I used to be ENTP.  Either one is recommended to work for themselves, we are a people who don’t do well with administrative work or being told what to do. Coming up with multiple solutions and trying new things is my greatest joy.

Part of it is if one more person feels entitled to make a comment about my desk, I will not be held responsible for what happens next.  I will probably kill them with my eyes.

Things I have looked into seriously in the recent past and discarded – baker (too many conflicting regulations), eco nursery painter (still do-able, but I don’t know if I have the desire to get back into contracting), tutor (don’t want to give up my evenings), wine salesperson (probably not as fun as I think it is).

I love living in the possibility and once I have thoroughly planned out whatever excitement I’m chasing, I’m pretty much done with it.  It’s like I don’t need to mess up the plan with any reality.

I do however, love to create and make physical things.  So my latest excitement, that keeps me up at night, is the idea of silk painting and watercolors.  I can’t get it out of my head, and I have endless ideas for what to create.

I’m going to start watercolor painting, just to see if it’s as awesome in reality as it is in my head, and find out what I have to learn (quite possibly everything).  Then I’ll take a class in silk painting.

And maybe 2 years from now I’ll be reading this from my castle built by painted silk blouses, working in my gypsy vardo studio.  (Another example of how detailed my plans get, although they always end with life domination).

What are you searching for?


Sugar Free Day 4 – Revenge

Sugar has gone out of it’s way to emphasize that it is the devil.  I woke up with a pounding headache this morning, which sometimes happens (sinus headaches uhhhhh), but the pounding was in a different location than the sinus ones.  And my neck hurt.  And light hurt.

I lay there and slowly tried to figure out if I should panic about a possible migraine, or whether I had contracted West Nile and was going to spend the next two weeks in the hospital isolation unit.

Then I remembered, this is day 4 of being sugar free.  The day when most people on “cleanses” or diet changes experience the greatest kickback from their bodies.

I’m suffering from sugar withdrawal.  Boo on you sugar, boo on you.

Excedrin is a healing gift from God, because I’m almost functional after being awake for 4 hours and medicated for 3.

Beware of sugar!

Sugar Free Day 1 y Mas

This will be my second serious attempt at being sugar-free.  I was last year for about six weeks, and then Halloween happened.  Candy Corn is my crack.  And chocolate.  And caramel.  And ice cream.  And pretty much anything sweet.

I’m trying this in a “oh look, I’m not trying super hard” kind of way because I want to have this be a lifestyle thing, not a crazy goal that I achieve once and then talk about the rest of my life.  I have to re-set my tastebuds for my health’s sake.

Today of sugar free has gone ok, except for I’m either hungry or my stomach is upset, it’s hard to tell right now which it is.  Going to have to wait and see what the answer is there.

I fasted last Monday, in an attempt to focus my prayers about some specific things.  I’m considering making that a weekly practice, I need clarity and answers to some big questions in my life.  I’m meditating on Matthew 7:7 right now.

“Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

It’s in a passage where Christ is telling us to trust Him (initial typo said Jim) for provision and that He wants good things for us.

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11)

This is one of the most comforting passages for me when I’m having anxiety about where my life is.  When I was single, it gave me peace about my dating (non) situation.  When I was burned out on my job, it gave me peace about that.  When I was unemployed for forever, it gave peace. My earthly Father is awesome, and to think that my heavenly Father wanted more for me than he does overwhelms me.

After this reassurance, Christ closes with

“Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them- this is the Law and the Prophets.”

So pass on the kindness you want from others.  Pass on the wealth you want to acquire.  Share the love you want.  Share the acceptance you want.  Share the understanding you want.  Share the listening ear you want.  This is the summary of all of the Law and all of the Prophets.

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