I know what I need to be doing. I have to just do it. Today is the day that I start.
For years now, I’ve had the desire to do something where I worked for myself. The problem is, and has always been, what will I do?
I am transitioning. I’m in a new position at a new place, completely unlike anywhere I’ve ever worked before (at a church! I work at a church!!!), and newly married. The hours are spectacular, the people are nice enough, and I don’t take the work home with me. And yet.
Part of it is my personality type – I think I’m an ENFP now, I used to be ENTP. Either one is recommended to work for themselves, we are a people who don’t do well with administrative work or being told what to do. Coming up with multiple solutions and trying new things is my greatest joy.
Part of it is if one more person feels entitled to make a comment about my desk, I will not be held responsible for what happens next. I will probably kill them with my eyes.
Things I have looked into seriously in the recent past and discarded – baker (too many conflicting regulations), eco nursery painter (still do-able, but I don’t know if I have the desire to get back into contracting), tutor (don’t want to give up my evenings), wine salesperson (probably not as fun as I think it is).
I love living in the possibility and once I have thoroughly planned out whatever excitement I’m chasing, I’m pretty much done with it. It’s like I don’t need to mess up the plan with any reality.
I do however, love to create and make physical things. So my latest excitement, that keeps me up at night, is the idea of silk painting and watercolors. I can’t get it out of my head, and I have endless ideas for what to create.
I’m going to start watercolor painting, just to see if it’s as awesome in reality as it is in my head, and find out what I have to learn (quite possibly everything). Then I’ll take a class in silk painting.
And maybe 2 years from now I’ll be reading this from my castle built by painted silk blouses, working in my gypsy vardo studio. (Another example of how detailed my plans get, although they always end with life domination).
What are you searching for?